Moles
by United Profilers
Summary: Something is bothering Reid, Morgan tries to find out what it is. Not slash, Humor Oneshot, Features all characters. I don't own Criminal Minds.


**This is my first fanfic, so I'm a little nervous... :P**

It was lunchtime at the BAU. Rossi, JJ and Garcia had already returned to their respective offices, Kevin Lynch and Emily Prentiss were still in the break room, Hotch went out to meet Jessica and Jack for lunch. The Unit Chief had yet to return and was undoubtedly taking his time.

Morgan sighed. He wished his own lunch could have lasted just a little bit longer, as he wasn't looking forward to more paperwork. A mischievous smile formed on the agent's face as he took a few stacks from his pile and placed them onto Reid's. He even had the consideration to move a couple of Prentiss' over. Spencer Reid can read faster than the two of them combined. It was only fair, right?

Reid came out of the men's restroom and Morgan hurriedly went back to his desk before the young doctor saw him, though he would probably notice that his pile of work grew taller.

Morgan whistled casually and tried hard to act like nothing happened when Reid walked towards his desk. Reid stared at him suspiciously for a moment before clearing his throat.

"Ah, Morgan?" He asked rather nervously.

Morgan raised an eyebrow while trying to look innocent. "What is it, kid?"

Reid began to fiddle with his long, skinny fingers. "I, uh... I need to..." He seemed to struggle for words.

Morgan dropped his attempts, now looking a little concerned. "What's the matter, Reid?"

Spencer swallowed. He now regretted getting Morgan's attention, but this 'problem' had been bothering him for almost a week. He rubbed his arm nervously while finding it hard to stand still.

"I need to... te-tell you..."

"Come on, Reid, spit it out."

Reid didn't say anything. Instead he looked down to the floor, letting his long curly hair cover his face.

Morgan shook his head as he got up from his seat. Much to Reid's surprise, Morgan took his younger colleague's hair and moved it aside, allowing their eyes to meet.

"You're gonna tell me what's bothering you one way or another, Pretty Boy."

"I-i-it's n-nothing." Reid stuttered, trying to move away.

"Sure doesn't seem like nothing." Morgan said determinately.

Reid could tell that he wasn't getting out of this. He gulped and tried to think of an easy way of telling Morgan.

"I..." He began.

"Come on, keep going." Morgan encouraged.

"I-I have a..." Reid mentally slapped himself. _Just get it over with!_

"You have a..." Morgan said. Suddenly a thought came into his head and he grinned.

Confused, Reid stopped and looked at his chuckling friend. "What?"

"You have a girlfriend!" Morgan's smile continued to grow.

Reid's eyes widened. "No, that's not what I was going to say!"

"You have a date?" Morgan smirked.

"No. It's not that at all." He shook his head, still blushing.

"Oh, I know what it is!" Morgan said, grinning from ear to ear.

"Morgan..." Reid whined.

"You got lai-"

Reid slapped a hand over Morgan's mouth before he could finish his sentence.

"Morgan, it has nothing to do with girls!"

"Alright then." Morgan was still smiling. "Since I couldn't guess it, you tell me."

Reid exhaled. He looked around before speaking quietly.

"I have a couple moles." He said quickly.

Morgan just stared at him. _Great._ Reid thought.

Finally Morgan spoke. "So?"

Reid looked at him as if he was Struass in a ballerina costume.

"So?" He repeated. "Morgan, it's embarrassing!"

"Kid." Morgan began. "I'm sure lots of people have them."

"I know but-"

"People have far weirder pets than moles."

Reid stared at him in disbelief. "That's not the type of moles I was talking about."

"Oh."

"Yeah." Reid said. "I'm scared." He whimpered.

"Of what?" Morgan asked.

"...Skin Cancer."

Morgan ran a hand over his face. "Reid, just because you have a couple moles on you doesn't mean you have Skin Cancer."

"I-I know, but-"

"I know that you know that, kid. You're a genius."

Reid nodded, but he was noticeably tense.

"Fine, I'll look at them." Morgan moved towards Reid, but he stepped back.

Morgan looked at him indigently. "Either you let me check them, or I'll tell Hotch and he'll drag you to the doctor's office."

Reid was shocked, but he knew Morgan spoke the truth. "Okay, okay." He held his hands up in surrender. Morgan smiled with satisfaction as Reid slowly pulled up his left sleeve.

He was almost to his shoulder when he stopped. Morgan looked at his upper arm, assuming that's where the affected area was.

He scanned around before giving up. "Where are they?"

"What do you mean 'where are they'? They're right there!" He pointed at two tiny spots near his shoulder.

Morgan squinted until he finally spotted the round, dark colored dots.

"Spencer, those are the tiniest moles I've ever seen." He shook his head with a smirk. Reid looked at them himself.

"Those are tiny?" Reid asked sheepishly. _How is this kid a genius?_ Morgan thought.

"Yes," Morgan said, exasperated. Reid put his sleeve down and his cheeks were now more red than ever.

"Work that brain of yours, Pretty Boy." Morgan patted him on the shoulder.

Reid stood there for a moment. "The average white adult has 30 moles on their body."

"There you go." Morgan smiled. Reid smiled a little too.

"Most moles first appear on children." Reid continued. Morgan was happy that his friend was now in a lighter mood.

"Some babies are born with moles... They are sometimes called 'birth marks'." Reid said more confidently.

"See kid? You have nothing to worry about." Morgan ruffled Reid's hair.

"I guess I kind of let my comprehension get the better of me." Reid said, embarrassed.

"Kind of?" Morgan laughed. Spencer smiled more this time.

"I mean... it's just on my upper arm. Even a T-Shirt would cover them up." Reid said as he gazed at his arm.

"It's about time you start using your smarty-pants mind today." Morgan grinned. Reid rolled his eyes.

Morgan was about to sit down again before he heard Reid call him. "Morgan?"

"Yeah?" He turned back to the younger profiler.

Reid held his arms out towards his best friend. Morgan took the gesture and wrapped his arms around the skinnier man in a friendly hug.

"Thanks, Morgan."

"Anytime Spence." Morgan ran a soothing hand along Reid's back as Reid smiled at the use of JJ's nickname for him.

They pulled apart, not wanting other people to start getting any ideas. Morgan looked over at their desks.

"We should get back to work before we get chewed on." Morgan said.

"Yeah. I can't decide if I would rather receive a lecture from Hotch or Strauss." Reid laughed.

"I don't know. I think I would rather go with Hotch." Morgan grinned.

"Me too, I guess." Reid smiled.

They sat down at their desks and began on paperwork. Reid didn't care much about the fact that his pile was much bigger than Morgan's or Prentiss'. He wasn't going to complain. He was just glad that Morgan was able to relieve his over abundance of worry. Reid smile happily as he effortlessly zipped through stack to stack of paperwork. How could he let that happen? He has an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory and can read 20,000 words per minute, and yet he let a couple of teeny little moles get the better of him. Spencer laughed at himself as he continued his work, grinning as he gazed over at Morgan from time to time who was looking extremely bored.

Reid sighed with content at the unusually quiet afternoon. It would seem that even psychotic unsubs were taking the day off. He was perfectly fine with that.

Suddenly, a scream rang through the bullpen, causing a chain reaction. Morgan and Reid noticeably jumped. Rossi, JJ and Garcia burst out of their offices to see what was the matter, Prentiss and Kevin rushed out of the break room. Other people on the floor stopped what they were doing.

All heads turned towards the source of the sound when they heard a familiar voice behind the closed door of Erin Struass' office.

"AAAAHH! I have a mole!"

Jaws dropped and eyes widened at the Section Chief's outburst. She obviously didn't realize that practically the entire FBI Headquarters heard her.

"Reid." Morgan whispered. Reid turned towards the other agent.

"Here's what we're gonna do." Morgan said quietly. Reid listened intently.

Morgan continued, not caring if others heard them in the now silent bullpen.

"We are going to stand up, very slowly. And then we are gonna run. Run straight to Hotch's office." Morgan pointed at Aaron Hotchner's still vacant office. "And then we are gong to lock the door, and stay in there until our shift is over."

"Or until we get a case." Reid quickly added. Morgan nodded.

"Right."

The two profilers did as they planned. They rose from their seats cautiously. Once they were up, they rushed from their desks, causing loose paper to fly in various places. Leaping up the stairs, knocking Kevin and Prentiss over in the process as they zoomed passed Rossi and JJ who held onto the railing for dear life and into Hotch's office before slamming the door shut. Garcia heard the lock click from the inside.

The elevator doors opened revealing the Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner as he stepped out. He stopped in his tracks and looked around. Taking note of the mess of papers in the bullpen, numerous people who where just standing there with blank expressions, Rossi and JJ who were gripping the railing a little too tightly, Prentiss and Kevin who were sitting on the ground, covered in soda and coffee, and Garcia's confused look.

"Do I even want to know?"

**The end!**


End file.
